“KILL ALL HUMANS!”
A toss up between: “I’m not a cylon” and “He/She’s a cylon!” — Uttered by pretty much everyone at some point.
The creators of the Battlestar Galactica remake first had to figure out the series long over-arching plot. This part was easy: “Cylons try to kill all humans.” Simple, to the point, exciting. Done and done. Then you add in the extras like why are they trying to kill humans, what the gritty details are, who is a cylon, and so on.
The next part was tricky because they had to figure out how to stretch the story into four seasons and still keep people interested. Lost has this very same problem (which will only get worse because of the series length and growing absurdity). The Battlestar Galactica creators came up with a system to deal with series fatigue. The system is as follows:
- Hook people with overarching story, cylon attacks, and mythology.
- Spend 15-45 minutes having characters drink themselves under the table.
- Add (sometimes dull) flashback episode that has nothing to do with overarching storyline.
- Have a character be accused of being a cylon, sleep with a cylon, or be revealed as a cylon.
- Add tense episode where X character kills/fucks/marries/pisses off/punches X other character with no real consequences that ultimately has nothing to do with overarching storyline.
- If in doubt have more drinking.
- Go to #1
The reality is you could probably pair down the series to 40% of the episodes and still not miss anything from the main story. I liked the “filler” for the most part, but sometimes it could get dull, preachy, or predictable. What really bothered me is how little the filler actually changed the story. Characters often painted themselves into corners and would do something almost unforgivable but within two to five episodes all would be forgiven and everything went back to normal.
I admired the show for broaching topics on suicide bombers, abortion, religion, law, military rule, and resurrection, but at the same time was overly preachy and formulaic with the big court drama during season three. Overall the show pushed buttons, broke some new ground in television, and was generally enjoyable.
Then the final episode aired.
To be honest the second hour of the finale of Battlestar Galactica ripped the soul out of the show. The sugar coated fluffy ending went against everything BSG built up over the four seasons. On top of that the big mystery of the opera house was poorly resolved with much of the religious aspect butchered to a simplistic and frankly insulting conclusion. Add a dull ending that treated the audience like children and you’ve got one of the worst conclusions the show could have. Because of the ending I can’t see myself watching the series ever again. Battlestar Galactica, for me, was about how destructive but passionate the human race is and the ending ignored all that was built up through the four seasons and gave us a pathetic feel-good finale.
What you should take away:
If you plan to annihilate the human race, save the time, man power, and resources and leave us alone. We’re more than capable of destroying ourselves; just give it some time.
Breaking the rules, laws, and even murder generally is acceptable as long as you spend a few days in the brig (in most cases). Especially if your character is important or popular.
God’s Angels are made up of a baby killing robot and a smarmy selfish traitor. Good to know.
If you are seeing things you are a cylon, or crazy… or both.
The Rating through the first hour of the finale:
The Rating for the second hour of the finale:
(Yes I hated it that much)