High Crimes

High Crimes stars Ashley Judd as Claire Kubik, an uber lawyer who finds herself having to defend her husband Tom, played by James Caviezel, also known as Jesus, in a military court after he is arrested for murder and found to be living under a false identity. Kubik has to recruit the help of Charlie Grimes, played by Morgan Freeman, to aid with the court marshal defense due to her inexperience with the different world of military courts. Conveniently enough, all material witnesses seem to have died, and the official defense lawyer for her husband is an inept twit freshly freed of his umbilical cord. From the onset, it appears that Claire’s husband’s fate has already been sealed.

You’ve probably already seen this movie a dozen times before under different names. The creators of this movie must have realized that they had a basic plot was so completely unoriginal they decided to freshen things up and modernize the story. So what do they do? How about throw in a twist at the end! That has to do the trick right? Unfortunately, the twist plays so badly that I felt that I had just wasted two hours of my life watching this piece of crap, two hours where I could have been doing something more useful, like trimming my toenails, giving my dog a bath or maybe reconciling my bank accounts and cleaning the grout in the bathroom tile.

This movie is so obviously cast as well. You have Morgan Freeman playing the super intelligent but not terribly respected guy, Amanda Peet as the slut, and Ashley Judd as your star and helpless woman who is also super smart and has a keen sense of style. You also have James Caviezel, also known as Jesus from The Passion of The Christ who is also known for lackluster roles in The Count of Monte Cristo, Angel Eyes and Pay it Forward. This film wasn’t even lucky enough to manage to get him struck by lighting to maybe throw a little life into him. He is the kind of actor who makes you care as much about his characters as you do about driving 28 in a 25mhp zone.

If you enjoy being insulted as a viewer, and feeling like you had your time wasted, by all means run out and buy this movie right now. Otherwise, do yourself and everyone else a favor and hide the box behind From Justin to Kelly to save anyone besides a complete idiot from making the mistake of renting or buying it.

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