The Invasion

The Quote:

KILL ALL HUMANS!

Invasion“When you wake up, you’ll feel exactly the same.” (Presumably referring to everyone who fell asleep during the movie)

The Review:

Touted as an Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake, The Invasion, starring Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig, tries to recreate the now three-times redone original film except this time with a twist: Dull characters, boring and predictable plot, unimaginative ending, and confusing dialog and action!  Oh thank you Hollywood for setting out on a mission to destroy every decent movie made in the last 50 years.

I think there was some effort in this film to try and throw into question who was really infected, who was sane, what was real, but to be honest the film was so poorly constructed most of these efforts were lost.  You have to wonder what the film was like before the studio had Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski rewrite parts of the script.  In most cases I would say the studio ruined it, but for this movie I’m going to assume the original effort by director Oliver Hirschbiegel was unwatchable.

What you should take away:

Do not drink anything. Ever.  No matter what.  Seriously.

If you think your spouse is acting strange do not jump straight to “shoot them in the head”, they might get better or you might get infected and not care anymore.

If your movie consists of world-changing alien infection and you end with everyone going back to normal and a “gee, that was odd” ending, you might want to consider a rewrite (or in this case a re-rewrite).

The movie poster says: We were too lazy to use blue and green in addition to the red.

The Rating:

Pharmaceutical Ninjas

I started a blog called Pharmaceutical Ninjas on Blogger where I intended to post the silly nonsense that popped into my head, but it was promptly banned by Blogger spam robots after I put up a post making fun of product placement in recent episode of Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles.  Here is a snippet:

The Dodge Ram provides a truck bed storage system that can meet the needs of even the most harden human apocalyptic survivors with storage for guns, explosives, and anything else you might need to take down a robot killing machine!

Stay tuned to FOX’s Prison Break, next, sponsored by Tampax Tampons! The Tampon that never leaks! You will be amazed at how we work tampon product placement into this week’s Prison Break!

Either the robots who will one day take over our world and enslave the entire human race read this blog and deemed it a threat to their dominance or Blogger’s spam robots don’t understand sarcasm.  While there are ways to get it unbanned I figured integrating Pharmaceutical Ninjas into blarbles.com saved me from ever having to deal with this stupidity again.

So thanks, Blogger, I used your service for all of five days and learned: Robots will never understand bad attempts at humor and now we know how to confuse robots just long enough to upload a virus into the mothership and… wait, no… aw shit.