Epic Short Review: Miss Congeniality 2

Ten one-liners about Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous:

  1. William Shatner was completely wasted in this film, and I’m not talking about him being drunk.
  2. For the same amount of money the producers manged to make the original movie again but far far crappier.
  3. Diedrich Bader is no Michael Caine.
  4. Not even close.
  5. Not even in the same Universe.
  6. Miss Congeniality 2 is the definition for “Why you shouldn’t make sequels ever.”
  7. When Benjamin Bratt won’t reprise his role in your sequel you have problems.
  8. It is possible Miss Congeniality 2 was paid for by the city of Las Vegas as a lousy marketing scheme.
  9. If you look up “lazy” in the dictionary there is a picture of Miss Congeniality 2‘s writers.
  10. Anyone who paid to see this movie in the theater is owed their movie ticket plus another $500 for the two hours it wasted of their life.

The Rating:

Epic Short Review: Dude Where’s My Car?

“Its mystery is only exceeded by its power” – Brilliant and life-changing words spoken by many of the characters in Dude Where’s My Car?

But what does the phrase really mean?  Let me explain.

If the Continuum Transfunctioner’s mystery goes up or down the power is always greater.

Mystery < Power

At the beginning of Dude Where’s My Car? Nothing is known about the Continuum Transfunctioner therefore its power is significant.  Since we do not even have a clue as to what the Continuum Transfunctioner does the mystery of the device is limited to your pathetic imagination.  As the movie progresses you find out more and more about the device and you expect it starts to lack mystery therefore the power must have decreased as well.

You would be wrong, of course.

The Continuum Transfunctioner’s mystery only becomes larger.  Yes, we know it destroys the Universe, and yes we know it can banish 50ft women to Hoboken NJ, but why is it able to do these things?  Who made it and for what purpose?  What else can it do?   You see now that we know more about the device, the mystery actually gets bigger which means the power has become much greater as well, so the equation remains intact and in fact becomes:

( Mystery : Mystery < ) < Power

Epic Short Review: Coupling – The Complete Series (BBC)

A British Friends, except better.  Coupling was not afraid of pushing the boundaries of language and content while still managing to maintain a level of realism and decency American TV shows often fail to find a perfect balance of.

Of course Friends came first so I guess Coupling is technically a rip off, but it still seems to do a better job at comedy and character development than the American show.

The final season loses Jeff (Richard Coyle) and tries to introduce a replacement who doesn’t have the charm of Richard Coyle.  As the relationships of Susan and Steven, Sally and Patrick developed rapidly near the end of season 3 and throughout the short season 4 the show lost a its edge and the jokes were starting to get old.  Fortunately the British know when a good thing has ended and season four was the final in the series.