Detention (2011)

DetentionYet another horror comedy because apparently I’m in the mood for that shit. So at Grizzly Lake high school a killer is on the loose. Self aware, sarcastic, cynical, extremely odd and humorous. I kind of feel like this is the 2010 equivalent of the weird low budget 80s movies that were made. But with a lot more blood. There is an amazing travel through time in detention complete with music from the eras. Then more amazing time travel to 1994. Also Steven Seagal vs Swayze.

Contains the best counter argument to vegetarians from a Canadian exchange student: Only eat baby animals because they haven’t lived as long and won’t know what kind of life they are missing.

I give it 5 acid vomiting quarterbacks out of 5 time traveling bear machine.

Bonus: There is a guy with a TV for hand.

Quote of the movie: “Parties are full of self discovery.”

All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

All Cheerleaders DieIn this horror comedy a girl out for revenge against the captain of the football team infiltrates the cheerleader squad so she can turn them against the captain. Things go terribly wrong (of course) and most people die, but don’t worry it’s nothing magic can’t fix. Oh yeah, there is a lesbian blood drinking thing, but you probably assumed that already.

I really enjoyed the disneyesque love music interspersed with all the murder, blood, and black magic. Also there is dubsetp. Surprisingly disturbing, and humorous, and, well, disturbing.

I give it 4 gushing bloody head wounds out of 5 undead cheerleader magical life crystals.

Stars: Caitlin Stasey, Sianoa Smit-McPhee, Brooke Butler