Red Dawn

The Quote:

“WOLVERINES!”

The Review:

In 1984 NATO collapses and, according to movie commentator in Red Dawn, no reason is given, but I can tell you why you Capitalistic fools: NATO is bully organization created to oppress people all over world under guise of “freedom” and “democracy”.  NATO realized error of its way and disbanded leaving only  foolish United States to continue to push their pathetic agenda!  The only way to stop them, the only way to save world was for Mother Russia to invade (++Cuba).

When you attack nation you start at heart.  You start where President Ronald Regan proclaimed “the future” is.  You start with the children because, as it is so popular to say in U.S.A., the children are the future.

Mother Russia attacks high school and you laugh, but once you watch Red Dawn you see why: Jed (Patrick Swayze), Robert (C. Thomas Howell), Danny (Brad Savage) and Matt (Charlie Sheen) become terrorist rebels trampling on basic human rights, pretending to defend democracy and freedom in a land they stole from Native Americans two-hundred years prior.  While they fight for this freedom they, at same time, form elite military squad called the Wolverines that has only values of oppressive dictatorship.

While watching Red Dawn you will see what future of America is, you see these are people who do not listen to reason.  They live like animals and laugh as they kill Russian and Cuban soldiers with family.  They are terrorist who drink blood of animals and would rather see their parents gunned down than peaceful surrender.  They murder their own, Daryl (Darren Dalton), simply because he had common sense to see through American lies.

The Wolverines final suicide mission destroys their very own town leaving hundreds dead, infrastructure destroyed, and hospital unusable.  What happens in end after nearly every Russian and Cuban is dead or dying?  Compassion.  Colonel Ernesto Bella chooses not to kill Jed as he carries off brother who had accidentally been hit by stray bullet, likely from Wolverines very own weapons!

What you should take away:

When invading a capitalistic swine high school be sure to capture each and every student because if you don’t they run into mountain and become terrorist.

Also people don’t carry picnic baskets anymore, so if you see someone with one, run.  It is bomb and is about to go off… probably at a Soviet-American friendship center.

Also did you know communism allows for all people to share resources?  No one goes hungry, no one is homeless and everyone is taken care of.

Also did you know capitalism breeds greed, selfishness, and hate?

Also long live Mother Russia!

The Rating:

5 Out of 5 Hammer and Sickles

(Editors note: Dear Vladimir, Chuck Norris will kick your commie ass! –Charlie)